whose jewellery is it anyway?

Family lawyers are noticing a new trend emerging within the Asian community.  Along with the increase in willingness for Asians to consider leaving unhappy marriages, more and more British Asian women are fighting to get their dowry back. The BBC Asian Network recently broadcast a special report, The Dowry Backlash, which was presented by Nina Wadia and dealt with precisely this issue. It demonstrated the shift in attitudes and approaches not only of individuals themselves who are ending their marriages, but also the judicial system and the legal practitioners who are all becoming much more alive to the real issues being faced by the Asian community.  

As many of you will appreciate whilst you are planning your wedding, a typical Asian wedding is now costing approximately £50,000. Whereas previous traditions meant that gold sets and clothes were exchanged between the families, the general standard for a wedding has increased with many individuals having higher expectations and wishes than ever before. In line with these changes, the gifts that are exchanged have increased in value with traditional gold sets being replaced with diamonds and other precious stones and clothes now being requested from designer fashion houses abroad and in the UK. Clothes and increasingly large sums of money are also being handed out as part of the general gifts between the families. Even after the marriage itself, given the current economic climate, particulraly given the bride's family are offering (and are in some situations expecting) to provide their daughter and new husband with a large sum of money to assist with a property purchase.

Whilst the term 'dowry' is not used as openly as it previously was, possibly due to the negative associations with the term, there are many traditions that continue to this day, which are similar in principle to the dowry, such as the 'Daaj'. Essentially, both involve the provision of high value items from one party to another in relation to the wedding.    

Unfortunately, along with this shift in culture, there is also an increase in the number of Asian marriages that are breaking down. The Asian Law Society estimates that around a third of Asian marriages end in divorce and the families involved are left not only devastated at the breakdown of the marriage but wondering whether they are able to recover some or any of the huge expenditure of the wedding and the items given as party of the dowry.

Times have changed and women and their families are less inclined to accept their losses if the marriage fails.  In response to this, family lawyers are becoming increasingly aware of the specific needs of the Asian community when dealing with the breakdown of marriage. If you now search the internet for specialist Asian family lawyers, you will find individuals that offer the understanding required to ensure that any claims are properly dealt with and pursued.  In order to properly represent you, your solicitor would need to understand the cultural background to the gifts and then combine that with their knowledge of the law to recover as much as possible and give you realistic legal advice.

As you flick through this directory and plan your wedding, remember that simply being aware of the issues before entering into a marriage can also help reduce some of the problems you and your family may otherwise face if your marriage is not as happy as you hope it will be.

It is sensible to make practical arrangements in advance of your wedding. If you are a bride and you are not familiar with your husband and his family, try and arrange for your jewellery and personal items of value to be kept somewhere safe in your own name, such as a safe deposit box at a local bank.  In the midst of a chaotic wedding and in some cases as calculated steps, many new brides will agree, when asked, to hand over all of their jewellery to a member of their husband's family. Unfortunately this means if they have to leave the marital home in a hurry or at short notice,  much of this jewellery cannot be located and will never be seen again. It can then be difficult and costly to reclaim or even prove that it exists.  

Another practical tip is to try and list all your jewellery in an inventory and substantiate this with receipts and photographs. If for any reason there is a dispute in the future, the inventory and supporting information will be clear evidence that the jewellery existed and was in your possession. These may also prove helpful if the jewellery was ever stolen or lost, as clear photographic evidence can help place values on each item.

Finally, if sadly your marriage does not work out and you find yourself going through a separation, ensure that you seek specialist legal advice from a family solicitor who is familiar with the cultural and religious sensitivities and can immediately deal with the jewellery and reclaiming any other dowry.

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